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4 Silent Killers of Success (Part 4 of 4)

November 28, 2017

What's the ONE thing that matters MOST?

 

In this short series I want to share with you 4 discoveries I made when I sat down to seriously analyze why I had not found the success I had dreamed of many years ago.

 

Over the next four posts I will cover each of my 4 Discoveries.

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Like most everyone else I have heard, read and seen about all the motivational material anyone can stand in one lifetime. I used to be a junkie for all that stuff until I realized that I was spending more time reading, listening and watching this stuff and getting excited about my dream than I did actually doing something about pursuing it. I also realized that at the same time, I was helping someone else finance their own dream.

 

I was so caught up in imagining my dream but never really moving forward with achieving it.

 

Speaking for myself and I believe for many of you, I found that for me there was a sort of disconnect between getting motivated about my dream and actually getting on with achieving it. It was so easy to look forward imaging what it would be like if my dream were to come true but so hard to actually imagine my next step across what usually seemed like a huge gap between where I was right now and what I saw as my dream.  I could describe my view of my dream like looking up to a mountain peak.  I could imagine the beauty of being up there, what the view would be like from the peak, and how much fun it would be skiing down the perfect white slopes. But what I couldn’t see was the road that led up there because it was hidden just beyond the trees in front of me and that is where my focus was…on the trees.  And as I walked through the trees I lost sight of the mountain. In other words I lost sight of my dream. I would catch a glimpse of it again every once in a while but the trees in front of me kept most of my attention. But I discovered that there were silent obstacles that I allowed to stand in my way. Four of them actually.

 

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RECAP- Discovery 1: I had no room for success in my life!

I discovered I wasn’t making time for my own dream. Life has a way of getting out of control. Between work, and family and church and kids activities and friends, then couple that with a personality that will most often say yes to anyone’s request for help and before long my days were either full or I was tired and wanted to rest. I couldn’t figure out how to fit anymore of anything into my already busy life and through all this busyness my dream sort of got lost. I’m not sure of exactly how my life got so busy and my dream so lost, I mean, I didn’t plan on it being that way but at the end of the day, I did know this:

I hadn’t done anything different today than I had done yesterday.

(Click HERE to read post)

 

RECAP-Discovery 2: Others didn’t share the excitement of my dream as like I did!

Nobody felt the same way about my dream as I did even though I thought they should, or at least would. When I looked around at where I was in my life, the people that surrounded me, my friends and even my family, I realized that they simply did not understand or share in the excitement I had about what I felt was a greater purpose for my life.

(Click HERE to read post)

 

RECAP-Discovery 3: I discovered that I was focused on changing the wrong things.

I used to get so pumped up by all those motivational coaches and speakers, all the books, CD’s and DVD’s. It all held life changing information. I spent a lot of years trying my best to change who I was to fit who they all said I should be in order to find success. I tried changing my habits, becoming a goal setter and goal achiever (was never real good at that for some reason), adjusting my daily routine diet and exercise plans. I tried it all and just like most of my New Year’s resolutions the changes only lasted a few months because those changes were so “out of my personality” that they were difficult at best to continue in the short term let alone for a lifetime. Mind you I would try really hard but let’s face it; if you are over 20 years old, you are NOT changing who you are or your habits easily.

(Click HERE to read post)

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Discovery 4: I discovered that without Happiness, nothing else mattered.

 

THEN MY GREATEST DISCOVERY was that happiness is THE KEY.   

“Without HAPPINESS none of these other things mattered!”

 

Let me say that again. None of my other discoveries mattered to me or to anyone else I had ever read about, if there were feelings of depression, anger or sadness. If there were feelings of being unhappy in any way, it didn’t matter if I was making time for my dream, If my friends and family believed in my dream or if I was focused in the right direction. When any negative emotions or feelings were being felt, they took over and I no longer even cared to think about my dream let alone work towards it.

 

Psychologically your mind will not allow you to dream or have a vision of something greater or even have the desire to reach for anything better as long as it is stuck in a fog of negativity and focused selfishly on what is wrong or what could go wrong.

 

“Successful people enjoy happiness about their lives, not sadness about their situation.”

 

And truth be known, my happiness was not usually all that high most of the time. When I looked back over my life a few years ago and gave serious thought about how much I enjoyed my life, I had to admit that each day sort of blended one into another with bits and pieces of fun, which I associated with happiness, along the way. In my mind I thought that just because my life was not horrible, then I must be happy. I mean, I didn’t feel unhappy but I certainly wasn’t completely happy either. I was somewhere in the middle in a place I could best described like this: “Here I am, my life is what it is and I’m okay with that. I simply try to make the best of whatever comes my way”.

 

And unfortunately, where I was, there also was my dream. Stuck In the middle, floating aimlessly and subject to whatever may happen without any guidance and definitely, like my life not progressing in the way I had hoped.

 

“If you’re not reaching for something greater then what you have is everything you wanted”

 

Remember me saying that I was a motivational junkie? Well, I was also a junkie for other people’s success stories. I loved hearing what people did to find their success. I loved reading about their struggles and trials, about how they overcame them and ultimately about their success in the end. I never read a single story about how someone found success while they were sad or depressed or even angry.  Each one had a positive attitude, a view of each day and their future days as bright and the attitude that no hurdle was going to stop them. This translated to say that they were genuinely happy people.

 

I have read stories about how people discovered happiness and success after overcoming these negative emotions which leads me to believe that Negative emotions will always hinder success.

 

These people weren’t always huge financial or business successes like Bill Gates for example; sometimes the best success stories were people that simply found great fulfillment and happiness by doing something that had nothing at all to do with money like being a great Sunday school teacher or something else very ordinary to most people. It didn’t matter how they gauged success, they all had one thing in common. They experienced great enjoyment and felt great purpose  while pursuing their dream. They felt happiness as they pursued being able to do what they loved. This happiness is what determined how they looked at life as it came to them and it gave them the drive and determination to keep moving forward no matter what hurdles that they came across.

 

“Successful people don’t always feel more happiness but happy people always feel more successful.”

 

I had always heard that it takes hard work and determination to succeed but I had never heard about anything about my happiness being the biggest part of that formula. No one ever told me this. I always thought that if I was successful I would be happy, or at least happier but the truth was just the opposite.  It is only through happiness that I can truly find success. Otherwise I will continue to be swayed by everything and everyone else.  That may not be a statement you have ever heard before but let’s be perfectly honest here; you probably never gave too much thought about it before.

 

When I discovered what a huge role my happiness played in the pursuit of my dreams and my feelings of success, it changed the whole way I looked not only at my dreams but my life as a whole. It was amazing to me what a huge the difference the outcome of my day was by simply looking at each and every situation from a happier perspective. As my perspective changed, I began to see hurdles that once stood in my way, turn into possibilities I had never thought of before. Conversations with people began to take on whole new, more positive directions. Instead of attracting conversations with complainers I was attracting inspiring positive conversations with people that had dreams and visions of their own. I began to see doors of opportunity open before my eyes; Doors that before, I simply did not have the ability to see or I saw as closed to me forever.

 

But if you’re used to looking for the hurdles in life it’s not easy to start seeing the possibilities. Every situation and moment in life has two views. You can see it as a problem and look for the negatives or you can see the possibilities and find the goodness. Emotionally this translates to seeing the sadness or seeing the happiness in the situation. This choice is all up to you. And so I also discovered that my happiness was a choice I made every day; every morning it was up to me to choose how I wanted to feel and how I would look at every circumstance. That’s why I completely believe that if you want to move positively forward in your life you have to put FIRST THINGS FIRST. And your happiness leads the way!

 

 

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Look for further discussions about your happiness and success in upcoming posts. Stay Tuned…Better yet sign up to follow by email!

 

Thank you for reading. If this or anything here inspires, motivates or touches you in any way Please LIKE, Comment and share freely!

 

Go! Make a difference in someones life today. Be the Blessing! 

 

– j.buck

 

Copyright 2017 John Buck/ Maximizing Life

 

All Rights Reserved

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©Copyright 2017 by John R. Buck, johnRbuck.com, Business Works, Life Works, Media Works,Online Works, Merchandise Works.   All materials, downloads ( audio and document) contained in this website are solely owned and protected under federal copyright laws. Except as permitted by the copyright law applicable to you, you may not reproduce or communicate any of the content on this website, including files downloadable from this website, without the permission of the copyright owner.